A short post for an impromptu failure.
If You Like Pina Coladas…
I don’t, actually. Putting aside the fact I don’t consume alcohol (and yes, there’s rum in this), I also am just not a fan of coconut. It’s okay. But due to my wonky taste buds, coconut tastes slightly soapy to me, and I don’t care much for the texture either. Which leads me to the perennial question of why I made this at all. My mom had some leftover crushed pineapple from a different dessert, and I was confident I had a Jell-o brand recipe in my bullpen that would use it up. (Turns out my coconut complaints foreshadowed disaster, however…)
The Importance of Indexing
Over the years, I’ve collected a number of fairly similar Jell-o cookbooks, with fairly similar stocks of recipes. But many of them focus their indexes alphabetically, instead of by key ingredient. Given that a lot of gelatin desserts often have less than descriptive names, like Ribbon Squares, or Under-the-sea Mold, this…isn’t helpful. But this particular cookbook does a thorough job in ingredient indexing, which allowed me to quickly locate several potential pineapple candidates.
I’m bringing this up because in today’s Modern Age, one might wonder what the point is of cookbooks when you can just look up a recipe online. But online recipe databases really lack taxonomy in my experience, and it’s a real shame given how straightforward it would be to…not. If you can crowdsource cataloging knitting patterns and fan-fiction, you can tag recipes.
Ah yes, my favorite ingredient: Chef Mike
A Recipe for Disaster- Okay It Wasn’t That Bad
This was… a weird one. The ingredients themselves looked fine, it’s a pudding pie, what could go wrong? My mom purchased all the ingredients we didn’t have in the house and prebaked a storebought crust ahead of time, so all I had to do when I woke up that afternoon was get to assembling.
First off, the recipe indicated you could use either Vanilla or Lemon flavor pudding mix. I didn’t even know Jell-o Pudding mix came in Lemon, and after eyeballing the other ingredients, decided that the Lemon pudding was prolly fairly mildly acidic, and would be the ideal choice. I also substituted half-and-half for the milk, since we’re the kind of household that more readily has half-and-half than milk. And lastly, my mom managed to dig out some rum we’ve had since…who knows when, but it smelled like rum, so, why not use it.
The most dynamic shot of lemon instant pudding made with sour cream you’ve ever seen
When I taste-tested the result, I was slightly shocked to experience…nothing. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, it did taste ever-so-slightly of lemon. But given how much acidity should have been present between the sour cream and everything else… To be clear, it didn’t taste bad! It just…didn’t really taste, to the point I had someone else try it for me to make sure I wasn’t suffering from some sort of illness. I mean, there was grated lime rind in there even! Somewhere!
But hey, we haven’t dumped in the pineapple and the coconut yet, right? So it’s fine! Probably!
My dad fondly refers to food of this aesthetic ilk as ‘cat puke’
Well nope. I thought the pineapple had already been fully drained, but I did end up adding a good ⅛ cup or more of liquid, which definitely affected the pie’s ability to set. That wasn’t really the core issue though – the coconut added a weird texture to the pie, and not really anything else. I feel like the grated lime rind also maybe would have been better in another format…
It still tasted fine though, so I do think this recipe can be successful, however, by simply not putting the coconut in the pudding, and instead sprinkling toasted coconut over the top. I also wouldn’t necessarily bother with making it a pie, and instead serve it in individual glasses, like a cocktail. If I liked pina coladas, I would try remaking it with these improvements, but I don’t, so I won’t. Let me know if you do!
Recipe (with Kelp’s suggested modifications)
1 package lemon flavored instant pudding mix (4-serving size)
1½ cups sour cream
3 tbsp rum
2 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp milk (I used half-and-half)
1 8¼ ounce can crushed pineapple, drained
Topping
1 cup flaked coconut, toasted
Some sort of lime deal (optional)
Combine pudding mix, sour cream, rum, sugar, and milk. Blend on low speed with electric mixer for a minute, or until smooth. Fold in drained crushed pineapple. Spoon into glasses or other container of choice, and chill for several hours. Top with toasted coconut, and optionally a lime garnish and/or whipped cream.
kelp 